BARE BONES: A CHRISTMAS STORY CHRISTMAS (2022)

A CHRISTMAS STORY CHRISTMAS (2022)

Legacy sequel to one of the greatest Christmas movies of all-time takes place in 1973 with an adult Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) now a married, down on his luck writer struggling as Christmas approaches. He sadly gets a call from his mother (Julie Hagerty) that his father (Darren McGavin in footage from the original) has died. With pennies to his name, Ralphie loads up his family into their car and heads back home to Hohman, Indiana to spend Christmas with his mother.

Well intended flick is directed by Clay Kaytis from a script and story by he, Nick Schenk and star Peter Billingsley. It really tries hard to recreate the magic and tone of the original, but it feels forced instead of part of the story as in the first film. No more evident than Ralphie’s elaborate daydream sequences. They fall flat here where they were absolutely delightful in the original movie. It lacks the heartfelt whimsy of A Christmas Story, though one can still appreciate what the makers were trying to do, even if it doesn’t work nearly as well as the first time around. This holiday flick is also a bit too drama heavy at times to be the light breezy fun the original film was and still is. Sure, it is amusing to see Ralphie, Flick (Scott Schwartz), Schwartz (R.D. Robb), Randy (Ian Petrella) and even Scut Farkus (Zack Ward) and Grover Dill (Yano Anaya) again played by the original actors, but even some of their roles seem forced in instead of a natural part of the story. Ralphie’s wife and kids (Erinn Hayes, River Drosche and Julianna Layne) aren’t nearly as memorable as they need to be either, especially amongst all the other classic characters. It’s not terrible and certainly not unwatchable, but it just doesn’t recapture the magic that it tries a little too hard to recreate.

-MonsterZero NJ

HALLOWEEN HORROR ANTHOLOGY “TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE” GETS A POSTER AND TRAILER!

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“Do You Dare Watch Them All?”

 

From the official synopsis…

“Uncork’d Entertainment has acquired horror anthology TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE featuring genre staples James Duval (Go, The Doom Generation) and Vernon Wells (The Road Warrior, Weird Science). The film, which plays off of the popular theme of kids seeking danger and biting off more than they can chew, was written by Gordon Bressack, James Cullen Bressack and Zack Ward.

TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE will be released on digital and DVD in June.

Three kids want to have the most legendary Halloween night ever. Their trick-or-treat adventure brings them to the home of the local town legend “Scary Mary”. Is she as terrible as the legends say? One thing is for certain, she knows just the right tales to give these three kids the scare of their life. Sharing six unique stories that lead the children down a mysterious path to the unexpected.

Pablo Macho Maysonet IV, Jamaal Burden, Scotty Baker, Jacob Cooney, Lucas Heyne, Kern Saxton, and Frank Merle direct the segments which are written by likes of James Cullen Bressack, Zack Ward, and the late Gordon Bressack.

Ros Gentle, Michael Broderick, Rafael Delgado Jr., Chelsea Vale, Anna Harr, Hunter Johnson, and Andreas Rodriguez join Duval and Wells on the cast list.”

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-MonsterZero NJ

Source: Uncork’d Entertainment

BARE BONES: BEAST OF THE BERING SEA and DARK HOUSE

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BEAST OF THE BERING SEA (2013)

While Beast Of The Bering Sea doesn’t quite have Sharknado’s audacious lunacy, it does have a horde of CGI critters and Sharknado’s sexy, saucy Cassie Scerbo. The movie tells the tale of vampire-like sea creatures that are aroused from their underwater home by dredging for gold on the floor of the Bering Sea. Scerbo plays feisty and salty sailor, Donna whose father is killed by the seafaring blood-suckers and joins her brother Joe (Jonathan Lipnicki), ship mate Owen (Brandon Beemer) and Oceanographer Megan (Jaqueline Fleming) in an effort to send them back to the watery hell they came from. The CGI is very weak, but there is something fun about bat-like sea creatures that drink blood and can be destroyed with sunlight. As written by Brook Durham and directed by Don E. FauntLeRoy, there is a lot of silly action, nonsensical plotting and Cassie Scerbo is a delight to watch as her tough-as-nails, but still hot sailor takes on creatures that Dracula would proudly use to fill his aquarium. Good movie?… no… fun movie?… yea, kinda.

DARK HOUSE (2014)

This direct to home media horror is co-written and directed by Jeepers Creepers creator Victor Salva and stars Saw series icon Tobin Bell. This tale of psychically gifted young man, Nick (Luke Kleintank), who inherits a creepy old house that mysteriously survived a massive flood 20 years ago, is borderline incoherent as it seems to have no real plot, but is just making things up as it goes along. It mixes common horror film elements with figures from Jewish mythology and the Bible…and not very accurately either…and just makes a real mess of it all that just leaves you scratching your head. There’s something about Nick having to release his evil entity of a father from the house’s basement, but where the severed hearts, mysterious government land surveyors, a hanging tree and axe wielding zombie cowboys who run like apes all tie in, I don’t think writers Salva and Charles Agron even know. The gore is well rendered and the movie looks good, as all Salva’s films do, but boring and un-involving, as well as, confusing at times. At least got to see A Christmas Story’s villainous Scut Farkus (Zack Ward) as a grown up government land surveyor who may not be what he seems…but government land surveyors rarely are. A lackluster and disappointing mess of a movie from a man who once gave us a cult classic.