BARE BONES: SIGNIFICANT OTHER (2022)

SIGNIFICANT OTHER (2022)

Couple Ruth (Maika Monroe) and Harry (Jake Lacy) are taking a camping trip deep in the Pacific Northwest woods, something the anxiety prone Ruth is very nervous about. Jake uses the trip as a staging for a marriage proposal which is something Ruth is even more nervous about. Camping and engagement issues are the least of Ruth and Harry’s problems, though, as something landed in the nearby woods just the night before and it is something unearthly and with a sinister purpose.

 

Flick is written and directed by the duo of Dan Berk and Robert Olsen who made the darkly comic Villains also starring Monroe. The filmmakers nail the first two thirds of this flick by giving us an ominous opening as a mysterious object lands in the middle of the woods and a deer soon becomes victim to something otherworldly. We then meet Ruth and Harry who are having their own personal issues, as the anxiety filled Ruth is dreading their little deep woods excursion. This not only adds tension between the couple, but also with the audience who already know something malicious is waiting for the two in the woods that Ruth would rather not enter. The flick is loaded with atmosphere and is legitimately spooky, as it soon begins to appear that one of the two is no longer who they seem. So far, so good. It’s in the last act when the film loses its grip somewhat. While it remains atmospheric, we find out maybe a little too much about what is going on, and the delivery of this exposition on the extraterrestrial invader and its purpose is delivered in a borderline silly manner. The film does present an original and interesting caveat to the Body Snatchers/The Thing alien duplication scenario by presenting the other side of the coin. What effect on an alien doppelganger does the residual emotions of its human template have? This is an interesting angle to be sure, but one feels it could have been presented in a more intriguing and less matter-of-fact way. A cool concept sadly mishandled, and it causes all the tension built up in the first hour to dissipate. Maybe things should have been left a bit more ambiguous and the actor’s delivery less cavalier. It brings down a film that had impact in its first two-thirds. The movie simply reveals too much and in a very glib manner. Significant Other is still worth a look and very effective in many respects, but it just doesn’t handle its most interesting idea in the most effective way. Also stars Matthew Yang King and Dana Green as Ray and Vivian, another couple Ruth and Harry encounter.

 

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: LULLABY (2022)

LULLABY (2022)

Silly and cliché-ridden horror has a couple with a newborn, Rachel (Oona Chaplin) and John (Ramón Rodríguez), moving into an apartment with a dark history including the death of a baby. That’s believable! Some of the deceased infant’s things are still there, including a creepy, looking old book. So of course, Rachel opens it up and picks an old Hebrew lullaby out of it to read to their baby, who is keeping Rachel awake and stressed out. Obviously, as in all the other times we’ve seen this scenario, the lullaby actually summons the demon Lilith (Kira Guloien), who is the malevolent, baby-stealing first wife of Adam. Now the couple must find a way to fend off this ancient demonic entity and save their child.

 

Flick is directed by John R. Leonetti (Annabelle, Wish Upon) from a routine and derivative script by Alex Greenfield and Ben Powell. It is as cookie cutter as a horror flick can be with yet another scenario having a new mom and her baby being stalked by a malicious entity. Adding Hebrew culture and folklore to the proceedings does little to make it fresh, and in itself has been done frequently lately with better horrors like The Vigil, The Golem (2018) and even The Possession. Lilith is presented as a generic old scary hag and her baby-like minions are obvious CGI boogie babies. There are simply no scares or suspense, and the film ends exactly as we expect, being that we have seen this flick so many times before. Leonetti seems like a competent director but keeps getting attached to generic and routine nonsense like this. Production-wise the film looks good, and the cast do well enough with what they are given to work with, but there is little to recommend with so much familiarity and so little suspense, surprises or scares. Oy Vey!

 

 

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: UNKNOWN DIMENSION: THE STORY OF PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2021)

UNKNOWN DIMENSION: THE STORY OF PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2021)

Documentary written and directed by Joe Bandelli starts us off with a brief history of found footage horrors from Cannibal Holocaust to The Mcpherson Tape, to The Blair Witch Project. We then meet Oren Peli who details how he got the idea for the first film, in this now classic franchise, from his own experiences hearing strange noises in his new home. He details the casting of Katie Featherston and Micah Sloat, who then join the documentary to give anecdotes of their own, on filming the first Paranormal Activity on a shoestring budget and with what barely could be called a script. The film then takes us on the long road to its eventual theatrical release, with interviews from various producers and horror journalists, as the film becomes a box office smash, and a franchise is born. Bandelli then brings in a host of actors and filmmakers as he takes us on the journey of the making of the film’s sequels, leading up to the recent seventh film that was still filming when this documentary was completed.

Bandelli crafts a fun and informative look at the history of one of modern horror’s most famous and successful movie franchises from the perspective of those involved. The writer/director brings in a host of talent from behind and in front of the cameras, to give a detailed and entertaining look at how what was basically little more than a home movie, turned into a near billion-dollar movie franchise. If you are a fan of this series, it is fun to see the stars from the original film, and all the sequels, return these many years later to describe their time working on the flicks, and even some honest commentary from the people involved on what led the series into its decline in the later installments. If you are a fan of the Paranormal Activity films and are curious about how it all came together, this is definitely a recommended watch on Paramount+.

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: BED REST (2022)

BED REST (2022)

Julie Rivers (Melissa Barrera) is expecting her second child along with her husband Daniel (Guy Burnet). Julie is nervous as she lost her first child and the couple have moved into a big old house to start their family. An accidental fall places Julie on strict bed rest and while she convalesces, she begins to see and hear strange things. One of those things is the spirit of a little boy she believes is her dead son Andrew come to warn her about impending malevolent intent towards her unborn daughter. Is she going stir crazy or are there actually supernatural forces conspiring against her baby?

Haunting horror is written and directed by Lori Evans Taylor. While basically a very routine and cliché haunting flick, it has some effectively spooky moments, and the material is elevated by strong work by Scream‘s Melissa Barrera as Julie. Presenting the material seriously also helps it dramatically. As in many movies like this, no one believes Julie is seeing ghosts and it makes her isolated and alone. She is also forced to investigate the house’s past and that of its former occupants, leading to a disturbing but expected reveal. Barrera has us liking Julie and believing she is not bonkers…or is she? The conclusion is a bit over-the-top after what is a mostly subtle build-up and Taylor does provide some solid chills and uses the old house setting very effectively. The movie also covers some serious themes such as loss, mourning and letting go, as Julie’s predicament brings back painful memories of losing her son at childbirth. Currently streaming on Tubi despite what the movie poster says!

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO (2022)

GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO (2022)

Netflix streaming version of this classic tale is a darker and far more serious telling of the story. This Pinocchio takes place in fascist Italy where woodworker Geppetto (voiced by David Bradley) loses his ten-year-old son Carlo (Gregory Mann) during the first world war. Decades later he is a lonely man prone to drinking and when in his cups decides to build a new son out of wood. A wood sprite (Tilda Swinton) takes pity and brings the puppet to life dubbing him Pinocchio (also Gregory Mann) and giving charge of the puppet to cricket Sebastian (Ewan McGregor). Soon Pinocchio begins to get lots of attention, especially from greedy circus owner Count Volpe (Christoph Waltz) and the Podestà (Ron Perlman), a fascist official who sees Pinocchio’s ability to come back from the dead as an opportunity to turn him into the perfect soldier for the current war…and did I mention it is a musical?!

Stop-motion animated flick is directed by Guillermo del Toro and Mark Gustafson from a script and story by del Toro with Patrick McHale and Matthew Robbins, based on the original book by Carlo Collodi. On the plus side, the visuals and production design are absolutely stunning, as is the stop-motion animation and FX, absolutely amazing. What holds this version back is the dark and sometimes bleak telling of what was basically a children’s story. Not here, as del Toro and company’s version covers themes of death, loss, war and fascism. Some may appreciate the non-Disney approach, while others may find it very heavy-handed. This Pinocchio rises from the dead, which in all fairness, so did the Disney and book versions. He is killed multiple times, and as he is basically an enchanted being, he returns from the dead to live again. Here it becomes an actual plot point as this would make him a perfect soldier in the eyes of the fascist Podestà. Add in Geppetto’s bitter drunkenness, Pinocchio being trained to fight in a war and fascist Benito Mussolini (Tom Kenny) actually being a character in the film, and this is no kid flick! Not to mention that at 117 minutes it’s a bit too long, especially for it’s far too serious tone, and the musical numbers…yes there are songs…are not very memorable. Visually and technically, it is close to being a masterpiece, and has a great vocal cast. As a movie, though, it’s a bit too dreary, especially at two hours long, to really enjoy. Currently streaming on Netflix!

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: TROLL (2022)

TROLL (2022)

Netflix streaming monster movie takes place in the Norwegian mountains where blasting for construction on a new railroad awakens a massive rock-like creature. Scientist Nora Tidemann (Ine Marie Wilmann) believes it to be a gigantic troll right out of Norwegian folklore. As the military fails to destroy it, Nora must now find a way to stop the monster as it heads towards heavily populated areas.

Norwegian creature feature is directed by Roar Uthaug (Cold Prey, The Wave, Tomb Raider) from his script with Espen Aukan. It’s a solid and entertaining giant monster flick, though could have used a bit more of a sense of fun. Uthaug has directed horror and disaster movies and makes this with the same serious tone. It is a double-edged sword as that does help us go along with the fantastic storyline, but it also makes the flick take itself a touch too serious to really be a good time. Only Yusuf Toosh Ibra as government official Amir brings a little levity to the proceedings. All the giant monster movie clichés are there and well done, from arrogant government leaders (Anneke von der Lippe) to heroic soldiers (Mads Sjøgård Pettersen) to Nora’s sympathetic scientist. The troll even gets to wander into a crowded theme park and shows mercy towards children. The SPFX are quite excellent thought the creature itself could have used a bit more personality. It does earn our sympathy in the last act as we learn the truth about its past. A decent enough if not perfect giant monster flick from Norway and director Roar Uthaug. Currently streaming on Netflix!

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: THE LAIR (2022)

THE LAIR (2022)

RAF pilot Lt. Kate Sinclair (Charlotte Kirk) is on a mission in Afghanistan when she is shot down in the middle of the desert. Forced to evade pursuers, she runs into an abandoned Russian bunker. Inside she finds containers filled with strange humanoid creatures, who are accidentally released when her Afghani pursuers find her. She is rescued by a squad of allied soldiers who must now fight for their lives against these mysterious and very vicious creatures.

 

Flick is directed by Neil Marshall (The Descent) from his derivative script along with star Charlotte Kirk. It’s simply a very bad movie with ideas taken from many better flicks, even mimicking Marshall’s own far superior The Descent when the action moves to the bunker. The Lair feels more like a rip-off, where in contrast, Marshall’s Doomsday had the definite feel of homage, where, in that case, the familiarity was intentional. The acting, especially from the supporting cast is terrible with each character doing accents that one can only guess what country they are supposed to represent. The make-up and gore FX are fine enough with the creatures being adequate but forgettable human-alien hybrids. The CGI is quite cheap looking, as are the minimal sets in the sparse locations. In fact, the whole production has a bargain basement feel to it. Like one of those cheesy made for SYFY channel movies. It’s very disappointing coming from the man who made The Descent which is one of the best horrors of the early 2000s, not to mention the engaging period action/adventure Centurion and the before-mentioned homage Doomsday. Between this and the disappointing The Reckoning, one wonders what has happened to the once reliable Marshall. Flick is now available on streaming and VOD networks and will arrive on home media in December.

 

MZNJ Personal Note: I wonder if Lt. Kate Sinclair is related to future-set Doomsday heroine Eden Sinclair? Her mother perhaps?

 

 

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: ASTONISHING TALES OF TERROR: ROCTAPUSSY (2022)

ASTONISHING TALES OF TERROR: ROCTAPUSSY (2022)

Flick follows the adventures of sexy, busty ace reporter Hunter Hazelton (Brigitte Kingsley) as she covers the opening of an old mine using new laser technology. Hunter becomes trapped in the mine with a group of others when the dig awakens a giant Cthulhu-like creature. Hunter’s problems get even worse as the giant octopus-like deity decides it wants the intrepid reporter as it’s sacrifice and sends the now zombified survivors out to collect her. Can the resilient Hunter and handsome miner Casey (Landy Cannon) escape with their lives?

Fun flick is written and directed by Andrew Cymek and is an entertaining, sexed up version of an old-fashioned serial like The Perils of Pauline. It follows Hunter as she finds herself in and out of all sorts of predicaments including zombies, lava, horseshoe crab-like insects and being tied to a sacrificial alter. There flick offers voluptuous star and producer Brigette Kingsley plenty of opportunities for plucky Hunter to be scantily clad or less and the proceedings are presented in a tongue in cheek tone. In a more contemporary spin, the tenacious reporter gets herself out of most of her scrapes with the somewhat dim hunk Casey being little help. The cast are all actually pretty good, with Kingsley being a fun and sexy lead, and get the tone of the material with performances bordering on, but not quite spilling over into camp. The sets, make-up FX and costumes are not bad either with the only weak point being some very substandard CGI. Overall, it’s a fun little action-adventure movie with a spunky and sexy heroine who is endearing enough to want to see return in another spicy adventure. Also stars Patrick Kwok-Choon as Hunter’s trusty, gay camera man Cam, Sara Mitich as Hunter’s devious rival Annie, and also stars movie veteran Art Hindle as Hunter’s dad. Canadian flick is streaming free on Freevee and Tubi.

MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: TORN HEARTS (2022)

TORN HEARTS (2022)

Collaboration from Blumhouse Pictures and Epix finds country singer wannabes Jordan (Abby Quinn) and Leigh (Alexxis Lemire) performing under the name Torn Hearts and seeking to hit big. They gain an opportunity to visit reclusive country music legend Harper Dutch (Katey Sagal) at her home, and try to convince her to perform with them, as a way of getting the attention they seek. Harper Dutch, however, turns out to be something quite unexpected…and possibly quite dangerous.

 

Flick is directed by Brea Grant from a script by Rachel Koller Croft. Grant has a good cast to work with, as Lemire and Quinn play well the wannabe rising stars, and Katey Sagal does strong work, as usual, as the unstable Harper. The flick gets a bit unsettling the moment the girls arrive at Harper’s home, Brea Grant quickly establishing that something is wrong with this former star and our ambitious duo may have bothered the wrong country music icon. Even when a night of partying with their idol seems harmless enough, the following morning things start to get weird. It does take a while for the flick to get going, but it is still fun to watch veteran actress Sagal gradually bring Harper to a psychotic boil, without ever descending into camp. Harper’s behavior goes from eccentric to unhinged and she takes her young guests with her. Sagal’s costars also do a nice job keeping up with her, as Harper plays them against each other, and things get a little nasty. It’s the last act where things get a bit disappointing, though. Torn Hearts is like a tense fuse that never leads to the explosion. It does have the situation finally descending into secrets revealed, emotions boiling to the surface, madness and murder, though doesn’t really get nuts like we want it to, until literally the last few minutes, and even then, it seems to be holding back. The ending doesn’t have the impact or resonance it needs to, either, as it simply comes as no surprise. Grant also could have given the film a snappier pace, as it starts to drag just when it should have been ramping up. She does have a nice visual eye, though, especially in Harper’s old, music paraphernalia-filled house, and the setting works very well to establish some atmosphere. Not a complete success, but not a total failure either, flick is still worth a look, especially for fans of Sagal. Torn Hearts also stars Shiloh Fernandez as Caleb Crawford, a country star who gives Jordan Harper’s address and Joshua Leonard as the girls’ manager, Richie.

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: HATCHING (2022)

HATCHING (2022)

Finnish horror finds young Tinja (a wonderful Siiri Solalinna) caring for a bird’s egg after she is forced to put its wounded mother out of her misery. The egg starts to grow to an unnatural size and soon hatches into bird-like creature. The animal endears to Tinja and she to it, until it becomes obvious it’s means of pleasing and protecting Tinja are quite lethal.

Creature feature from Finland is directed by Hanna Bergholm from a script and story by she and Ilja Rautsi. By giving Tinja a pair of self-absorbed parents (Sophia Heikkilä and Jani Volanen) it makes the girl sympathetic, and also believable that the child could keep such a creature in her room unnoticed, except by her brat of a little brother (Oiva Ollila). The creature is an interesting design and portrayed by some nice old-fashioned prosthetics and proves to be very intelligent, as well as, quite dangerous. There is also an unnerving caveat of Tinja having a mental connection with her surrogate child and having seizures and visions when it kills. They also feel each other’s pain. The creature she dubs “Alli” becomes a conduit to releasing Tinja’s inner turmoil. It makes for a tense and sometimes disturbing monster movie with some effective gore once “Alli” starts to viciously protect Tinja and also begins to transform into something quite startling. Altogether an impressive horror feature debut from Hanna Bergholm.

-MonsterZero NJ