HORROR YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED: THE GIRL IN THE PHOTOGRAPHS (2015)

THE GIRL IN THE PHOTOGRAPHS (2015)

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Flick is most notable for being the last film to be attached to the late, great Wes Craven as he was executive producer. Director and co-writer Nick Simon tries to give it a bit of Craven’s style, but the film is a mixed bag and a prime example of how a character and the actor playing them, can sink a flick like a stone. Story has pretty grocery clerk, Colleen (Claudia Lee) being sent photos of mutilated women by a couple of psychopaths. The photos also capture the attention of pretentious and self-centered, L.A. photographer Peter Hemmings (an awful Kal Penn) who, for some reason, travels to Spearfish, South Dakota to meet Colleen. Suffice to say this new attention  to Colleen does not sit well with the psychopaths in question and people start to die.

Co-written by Oz Perkins and Robert Morast, the film, obvious by the plot description, has a weak story that ultimately doesn’t really go anywhere. Major plot holes abound, like the local police practically laughing off the fact that Colleen is getting pictures of dead girls and despite disappearances in the area, these local Barney Fifes (including a wasted Mitch Pileggi) don’t seem to feel there is anything worth investigating here. Add to that, gratingly annoying photographer Hemmings, finds out everything he needs to know about it online on a blog and feels these photos are personally calling him out, even thought they are being sent to Colleen, not him. If you are scratching your head, you are not alone. So Hemmings and entourage go to Spearfish and instead of investigating the photos, Hemmings becomes obsessed with making Colleen his new model. Ummm…what? This sets in motion more brutal murders from our killers, who we meet early on and are never given any sort of motive or reason for their actions. Just two redneck weirdos (Luke Baines and Corey Schmitt) who enjoy brutal killings and for no real reason have become obsessed with Colleen. There are a few brutally effective scenes and our psychos are very creepy, if not underwritten, but the plot never comes together or makes all that much sense as a cohesive story. There is very little suspense and the flick basically comes to a sudden and unsatisfying end. At least the production had legendary cinematographer Dean Cundey to give the film an atmospheric look.

The cast are a very mixed bag, too. Claudia Lee is fine as Colleen and she is a girl who can handle herself. She is pretty, though the character lacks the magnetism that seems to attract psycho killers and jerk photographers alike. Speaking of which, Kal Penn is absolutely awful as Hemmings, who is a an annoying character to begin with. The character is just a self-absorbed, prima donna and with Penn’s performance, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard whenever he speaks. He is completely unconvincing as a sexy, genius photographer and really drags down an already weak movie. Kenny Wormald is fine as Colleen love interest…another plot element that goes nowhere… and member of Hemmings entourage, Chris. He seemed like a bit too much of an ass-kisser to get the interest of a strong-willed, independent girl like Colleen, IMO. There is also scream queen Katharine Isabelle, former Disney channel star Christy Carlson Romano and the awesome Mitch Pileggi all wasted in small roles.

Suffice to say, it’s disappointing the Wes Craven’s legacy ends with his name on this misfire. The flick has barely a cohesive story, there is no real suspense and none of the characters have much motivation for what they do. Kal Penn is not only insufferable as Hemmings, but the characters is awfully annoying as written and really serves no purpose, like a lot of the characters here. There are a few effective scenes, mostly because they are brutal and the redneck psychos are creepy, if not purposeless in what they do. Saving grace has former Carpenter D.P. Dean Cundey lensing the flick and the appearance of some fan favorites in small roles. Not completely awful but definitely forgettable.

-MonsterZero NJ

2 knives.

 

BARE BONES: THE SACRED, THE PYRAMID and DEEP IN THE DARKNESS

THE SACRED (2012)

Horror flick did pass the time and had some effective moments despite a familiar story. Flick has pretty writer Jessie (Heather Roop) going alone to a recently inherited family cabin to work and not only experiencing paranormal activity but, a creepy possessed doll as well. Director Brett Donowho gives us some effective moments and some atmosphere from Carey and Shane Van Dyke’s derivative script and I liked that the film had some exploitation touches as it found numerous excuses to get the shapely Miss Roop into various and plentiful stages of undress. There is even some spooky but, enticing girl/girl action as Jessie gets supernaturally seduced by an equally sexy pair of specters. Not a very good movie in a traditional sense but, certainly found it’s ways to entertain, one way or another. Also stars B-Movie regular Jeff Fahey as the traditional creepy caretaker who knows more than he lets on.

THE PYRAMID (2014)

The disappointing thing about this found footage horror is it starts out pretty good with a group of explorers having found an entire pyramid buried under the sands of Egypt that pre-dates all the others. The initial journey inside is spooky and works well…till the ridiculously bad CGI critters show up and it becomes a silly SYFY Channel level monster-on-the-loose flick. It’s well directed to a degree by Grégory Levasseur and the script from Daniel Meersand and Nick Simon starts out OK, but, it just gets really silly in it’s last act and the phony creatures don’t help. Add to that the character of “Fitzie” (James Buckley) who was so annoying, you begged for his demise and you’ve got a potentially interesting horror that goes downhill steadily after a promising first act. Too bad, there was potential here for a fun flick. Also stars Ashley Hinshaw and Denis O’Hare.

DEEP IN THE DARKNESS (2014)

Despite some flaws, most coming in the third act, and a familiar story, this flick does manage to be entertaining. Story has city doctor Michael Cayle (Sean Patrick Thomas) uprooting his family to the rural community of Ashborough to set up his practice. Obviously, this is a secluded town with a very dark secret…one the good doctor and family may not escape. Though we’ve seen the scenario many times before with films like Children Of The Corn, Wake Wood and Jack Ketchum’s book Off Season, director Colin Theys still gives us an effective and atmospheric chiller from John Doolan’s script based on Micael Laimo’s novel. It’s only in it’s final third that things get a little out of hand, get very predictable and the plot holes show the most but, leading up to that is fairly entertaining. The production has a TV movie feel…it’s made by Chiller TV…but, the make-up FX and gore are well done. Thomas also makes a good hero, though none of the cast really make a strong impression in their roles. Also stars Dean Stockwell and Blanche Baker.

 -MonsterZero NJ