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electric boogaloo cannon doc


Great documentary about schlockmeister Cannon Films that churned out so many delightfully bad…and very entertaining B-movies during the 80s. Mark Hartley’s documentary is told through the eyes of a number of talents who worked for Cannon during their existence from both behind and in front of the camera. We get a real good look at the inside of the studio founded by Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus and how they dreamed of taking America by storm. We hear from actors like Bo Derek, Molly Ringwald, Robert Forster and Cannon regulars Lucinda Dickey and Michael Dudikoff, who all have entertaining stories to tell about starring in some of the studios most infamous productions. We also hear what it was like to make films for them by the likes of Tobe Hooper, Sam Firstenberg and Franco Zeffirelli. We get a story of two men whose dream to be a major studio was derailed by churning out some of the shlocky-est productions during a decade renown for it’s excesses. They made a major action star out of Chuck Norris and reignited Charles Bronson’s career…although not completely in a good way. Documentary is almost as fun as some of the ‘so bad it’s good’ movies they produced under Golan and Globus between 1979 and 1985.

-MonsterZero NJ

three and one half stars rating



knock knock


Eli Roth’s flick is a reworking of a 1977 film called Death Game where two women (Sandra Locke and Collen Camp who are given producers credits here) terrorize a man (Seymour Cassel) over a two day period. In this update, we have architect and family man Evan Webber (Keanu Reeves) who is left home alone on Father’s Day weekend to finish some work while his wife and kids hit the beach. During a rainstorm, two beautiful young women (Ana de Armas and Lorenza Izzo) show up soaking wet at his door, claiming to be lost and wind up seducing Evan into a threesome. The following morning Evan finds his guests still there and acting quite out of control. He manages to evict them, but they return that night to take Evan hostage and begin to torment him as punishment for what he did to them, claiming they are only fifteen years-old. Viewing him as a pedophile, the psychotic women claim he must die at dawn unless he plays their twisted games.

Despite a familiar premise that could have been fun, this flick is just dull and silly as these two loonies torment Reeves’ unfaithful family man for over forty minutes. It’s not only never gripping, but really just amounts to a fairly bloodless and uninventive torture show as the two women claim that Webber needs to pay for taking advantage of underage girls like themselves. While the two actresses do have a good time going all over-the-top, neither is remotely believable for a minute at being that young, or is given any real meaty material to work with. As for Reeves, he seems very miscast here and does not seem comfortable at all with the material…and it goes beyond the character’s discomfort with being a married man in the company of two horny vixens turned psychopaths. Even had Reeves been less wooden, the film offers nothing new and doesn’t even make inventive use of the familiar tropes of this type of Fatal Attraction flick. Roth does clarify his ladies intentions in the DVD extras, but one shouldn’t need supplemental material to make things clearer. Dull and only worth watching for the generous nudity from Armas and Izzo (Mrs. Eli Roth) who are clearly having a fun time with their parts. Wish Reeves would have had more fun with his part and Roth stopped recycling his influences and gave us something more original.

-MonsterZero NJ

2 star rating




MZNJ_New_TONnow playing

hospital massacre



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This is a routine and rather dull slasher flick from legendary Cannon Pictures schlockmeisters Golan and Globus. The film is written by Marc Behm and directed by Boaz Davidson, whose only noteworthy directorial effort is the cult 80s teen flick, The Last American Virgin.

Flick opens with young Harold (Billy Jayne) leaving a Valentine’s Day card for little Susan Jeremy (Elizabeth Hoy) and then watching through her window as she opens it. When it is greeted with distain and laughter, young Harold murders her friend David (Michael Romano) in revenge. Nineteen years later, Susan is a grown woman (now Playboy Playmate Barbi Benton) who is entering a hospital to get some test results. Guess who works there though and soon Harold in a surgical mask is switching her test results to get her admitted to the hospital for more tests. As Susan tries to convince the doctors there has been a mistake, Harold leaves a trail of bodies as he makes his way to Susan to get his revenge on his lifelong Valentine.

Hard to tell just how seriously director Boaz Davidson was taking this flick, as he really overdoes it with the horror movie tropes and it is almost comedic that every person…save Benson’s heroine…acts like a creep and the hospital seems to be filled with more mental patients than medical patients. The staff alone make this possibly the creepiest hospital on the planet and that’s not even considering the loonies apparently allowed to freely roam the halls. Even Arlon Ober’s score overdoes it and seems more appropriate in an Omen spoof than a legit slasher. Despite that, it’s still a dull affair, even with the overdone atmosphere and generous but routine bloodshed. Harold seems to wander the halls randomly slaughtering folks and one has to wonder how no one in a fully staffed hospital notices anyone missing or sees Harold transporting dead bodies to the empty 9th floor. It also seems weird that despite being left alone constantly, it takes the deranged killer well over an hour to get to finally pursuing Susan. Benton makes a fiery heroine and really gives it her all, but the cast of unknowns around her act fairly woodenly and our killer doesn’t exude too much menace either, despite the decent body count. When his identity is revealed, we’re not all that surprised as the film tried way too hard to make him the least obvious suspect. There is little suspense or tension and it’s only steady bloodletting and some nudity from our Playboy Playmate that holds our interest…and even her nude scene comes from a very date-rapey examination sequence by one of the hospital’s spooky staff.

I love this era of slasher/horrors and so had to give this one a look. There isn’t much to recommend other than Barbi Benton making for a good heroine, running around in her skimpy hospital gown and flashing the attributes that made her fairly famous in the late 70s and early 80s, especially on TV and in the cult classic Deathstalker. Despite a little 80s nostalgia, this is a forgettable slasher and one of the lesser efforts in the 80s slasher era.

-MonsterZero NJ

2 scalpels.

dr giggles rating