BARE BONES: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)

Direct sequel has four friends Melody (Sarah Yarkin), her sister Lila (Elsie Fisher), Dante (Jacob Latimore) and Ruth (Nell Hudson) traveling to the small ghost town of Harlow, Texas with the intent of developing the almost deserted municipality where they recently bought property. When they reluctantly evict an old woman (Alice Krige) from her home and she dies from the stress, they enrage her deranged son…Leatherface (Mark Burnham).

This new Texas Chainsaw Massacre is well directed by David Blue Garcia from a script by Chris Thomas Devlin based on a story by Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues. It is a solid enough horror flick but brings nothing new to the franchise and certainly doesn’t freshen it up much for a new generation. There is plenty of the expected gore, which is very well-done, and some nice action and intensity, but otherwise it’s nothing innovative or rejuvenating for a franchise that really has floundered since Hopper stopped making them after Part 2. The cast are all good, with our four young leads being a likable bunch and Mark Burnham being efficient, but not especially memorable, as the senior citizen version of Leatherface. Its an entertaining 83 minutes of horror and really delivers in the last act but is definitely not a new classic. It is one of the better sequels, though that isn’t saying much. Flick also stars Olwen Fouéré as Sally Hardesty, who arrives—a la Laurie Strode—to face the evil she escaped all those years ago, and new narration by John Larroquette.

-MonsterZero NJ

NEW NETFLIX TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE FLICK GETS A POSTER AND TRAILER!

Netflix and Legendary Pictures are bringing us a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre flick and now we have a poster and trailer! “Requel” is directed by David Blue Garcia from a script by Chris Thomas Devlin based on a story by Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues. It stars Alice Krige, Elsie Fisher, Nell Hudson, new narration from John Larroquette and Mark Burnham as Leatherface! Do we need another Chainsaw Massacre flick? We’ll find out on 2/18/22! 

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-MonsterZero NJ

Source: NETFLIX; Youtube

BARE BONES: LOWLIFE (2017)

LOWLIFE (2017)

Almost 25 years later and filmmakers are still trying to recreate the magic of Quentin Tarantino’s now classic Pulp Fiction. This latest attempt takes place on the mean streets of Southern L.A. where sleazy crime boss Teddy “Bear” Haynes (Mark Burnham) runs an illegal organ harvesting business beneath his taco restaurant. He uses a Mexican wrestler “El Monstro” (Ricardo Adam Zarante) as his enforcer. El Monstro’s girlfriend…and Haynes adopted daughter…Kaylee (Santana Dempsey) is pregnant and is the latest target for Haynes’ business when her real mother Crystal (Nicki Michaeaux) pleads with him for a kidney for Kaylee’s dying father, Dan (King Orba), unknowing her long given away daughter is the perfect match. When she finds out, she teams with El Monstro to take Haynes down and bloody hi-jinx ensue…still with me?

Flick is directed by Ryan Prows with script and story by he and at least four other people. It’s a fairly dull movie with it’s attempts at dry, hip humor falling mostly flat and director Prows not having nearly enough style to evoke QT’s most famous work. There is graphic violence, organ removal and the film goes back and forth in time as Pulp Fiction did, but isn’t anywhere near as fun. The cast are all fine, but the flick is just never really that interesting or entertaining and is just too obvious in it’s wannabe goals. Even at slightly over 90 minutes it was tedious to sit through this dull nonsense. El Monstro was amusing and deserved a better movie to be in.

-MonsterZero NJ