BARE BONES: THE BARN PART II (2022)

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THE BARN PART II (2022)

The Barn Part II takes place three years later with sole survivor Michelle (Lexi Dripps) in college and trying to move on from the events of that fateful night, by heading up the building of her sorority’s annual Halloween haunt. She and her sorority pal Heather (Sable Griedel) choose an old farmhouse as the location, and history repeats as the demonic entities she once escaped return to haunt the haunt on Halloween night and start killing anyone whose paths they cross. Will Michelle escape their grasp a second time?
 
Sequel to The Barn is again written and directed by Justin M. Seaman and sadly seems to be missing the enthusiasm, heart and Halloween spirit that made the first film so endearing. The sequel seems to meander along from scene to scene without any real energy or life. Even a dialogue sequence from horror icon Doug Bradley elicits more snores than scares. The film looks cheap, something the first did not, and comes across more like some local theater company production than a movie, with fake looking sets and even faker looking make-up effects. The demons look exactly like what they are, actors in rubbery masks. They look fake and aren’t scary. Even the abundant gore is hit or miss. The pace is slow, some scenes drag on longer than they need to, and the final confrontation lacks the impact it needs, like the fun climax of the first installment. This sequel is very by the numbers where the first flick had a lot of heart and spirit. This flick doesn’t even feel like it’s taking place on Halloween. On the plus side, Lexi Dripps makes a fun heroine as Michelle, as does cute and spunky Sable Griedel as Heather. There are some fun cameos by the likes of Joe Bob Briggs and Llyod Kaufman, though having forty plus year-old Diana “Darcy the Mail Girl” Prince playing a sorority girl is asking for a little too much suspension of disbelief. She’s fun, but it just doesn’t work. All in all, a disappointing sequel though one still hopes a Part III might get this indie horror franchise back on track. Also stars Linnea Quigley and Ari Lehman returning in their original roles, as Sara Barnhart and Dr. Rock respectively, expanded for this latest round of hijinks. 
 

-MonsterZero NJ

2 and 1-2 star rating

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BARE BONES: THE OFF SEASON, POULTRYGEIST and TWIXT

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THE OFF SEASON (2004)

It’s not bad enough that this flick is just really amateurishly made and acted… save for the always delightful Angus Scrimm… but, the fact that it has the audacity to rip-off The Shining, with it’s plot of a writer (Don Wood, who is awful.) and his wife (Christina Campanella) renting a room in small motel in Maine, so he can write, that turns out to be haunted, makes it all the worse. Produced and starring independent horror fixture Larry Fessenden who usually is involved with far better projects then this.

1 and 1-2 star rating

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POULTRYGEIST… (2006)

I’ve never been a big fan of Troma Entertainment’s bargain basement flicks and this comedy/horror/musical directed by Troma head Lloyd Kaufman won’t change my mind. This is an awful movie that tries so hard to be gross and offensive that it forgets to actually be witty or funny and at 103 minutes is also about 23 minutes too long. It’s sense of ‘humor’ hits the lowest level possible and crosses over to repulsive very quickly. I liked the first Toxic Avenger and the first Nuke’Em High but, after that any actual cleverness was traded for gross and stupid. Terrible.

  one star rating

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TWIXT (2011)

Francis Ford Coppola has made some great movies early in his career and while we haven’t heard much from him in the last two decades, it still surprises that the man who directed The Godfather and Apocalypse Now could crank out an eccentric mess like Twixt. The film has a chubby and really out of shape Val Kilmer portraying down on his luck horror writer Hall Baltimore staying in a small town to promote his latest wash-out novel at the local hardware/book store. He get’s involved with an odd sheriff named LaGrange (Bruce Dern) who wants Baltimore to help him write a book about the strange murder of a young girl by stake through the heart… a murder LaGrange claims is the work of a group of vampires that live in a commune across the lake. But, the longer he stays, the more Baltimore is drawn into a dream-like world inhabited by a vampiric young girl (Elle Fanning) and Edgar Allen Poe (Ben Chaplin) and soon reality and dream begin to become intertwined. What this movie was about, only Coppola knows for sure. It barely is coherent and when it’s all over, you wonder what was it about or what was the whole point. The only real pluses are some very interesting visuals and Ben Chaplin making an exceptional Edgar Allen Poe even though I never understood the point of him being there. Weird and confusing and weirder still is Coppola casting Kilmer’s ex-wife Joanne Whalley as Baltimore’s nagging wife Denise.

2 star rating

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