HORROR YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED: CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS (2022)

CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS (2022)

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It’s Christmas Eve and small-town record and video store owner Tori (Riley Dandy) is planning to hang out and get drunk with her friend and employee Robbie (Sam Delich). Meanwhile, at the T.W. Bonkers toys store, where her friends Jay (Jonah Ray) and Lahna (Dora Madison) work, the former military robot turned Santa Claus (Abraham Benrubi) reverts to its original combat programing and begins a bloody Christmas killing spree. Soon Tori and Robbie find themselves in a fight for survival as this yuletide terminator sets its sights on them and goes through anyone who crosses its path to get to them. Will they survive this O Holy Night?

Christmas Bloody Christmas is written and directed by Joe Begos (Bliss, VFW) and is another fun, 80s-esque flick from a director who obviously has a passion for his influences. From the atmospheric neon colored cinematography to the delightfully foul- mouthed and pop culture infused dialogue, this is a very entertaining holiday horror that pays tribute to many flicks of the past yet is its own thing. There is some solid suspense, some very plentiful and over-the-top gore and it has not only a devious sense of fun but a bit of a cynical and satirical look at this commercial time of year, too. What really makes this flick tick, though, is the awesome banter between Tori and Robbie that really endears you to the two characters before Santa comes a knocking. They are two hard-partying and foul-mouthed characters, with a love of movies and music, and the actors play their camaraderie and the sexual tension between them perfectly. It makes them very likable, especially Tori when she turns into a tough and resilient final girl when they are separated, and she goes mistletoe to toe with Santa on her own. Santa himself is an intimidating Christmas terminator and is quite an imposing villain without saying a word. The film obviously evokes The Terminator, but also evokes other robot run amok themed flicks like Class of 1999 and Hardware. It’s a fast paced, holiday action/horror that has some very delightfully gory moments, some impressive action sequences on a low budget and some engaging characters as Robo-Santa prey. It also wisely doesn’t wear out its welcome at just under 90 minutes. Production-wise the film looks great on what must be a very modest budget. The look of the film is a big factor, from Joe Begos’ visual style to the production design from Adam Dietrich and art direction from Elliott Gilbert.  Who wouldn’t want to work at Tori’s store? There is also a very atmospheric and very 80s score by Steve Moore, some great songs on the soundtrack, and that holiday themed neon drenched cinematography is by Brian Sowell along with solid gore and special make-up FX from Josh and Sierra Russell. A real holiday horror treat!

The small cast are really good here. As stated, Riley Dandy makes for a really likable heroine with her feisty, smart, resilient and delightfully foul-mouthed Tori. Her record store owner is a strong character to endear to and we are with Tori, jingling all the way for her survival. Sam Delich is also equally endearing as the confident and cocky leather jacket wearing Robbie. The two characters work very well together as do the actors who have strong on-screen chemistry. Begos regular Dora Madison is also likable and sexy as toy store employee Lahna and she also works well with Jonah Ray as her onscreen boyfriend Jay. Rob Zombie regular Jeff Daniel Phillips is also solid as the town sheriff who is faced with a mechanical Christmas nightmare, and Begos flick veterans Jeremy Gardner and Graham Skipper also appear. Rounding out is the spookily silent and intimidating work by Abraham Benrubi as the holly jolly killing machine.

Overall, this is a bloody fun holiday horror that pays homage to the robot killing machine flicks of the 80s, as well as your choice of Christmas themed slashers. Sure, we have seen the former military machine on a rampage before, but Begos knows it and just goes with it, parading his homages out in all their neon drenched holiday glory. There is some solid action, some nice suspense, some very gory kills and some really likable characters that give us the needed emotional investment in their fates. Riley Dandy is definitely a late entry in the best final girls of the year category with her smart-ass record store owner Tori, as is Sam Delich equally effective as her coworker/friend/love interest Robbie. A really fun holiday horror and one of the year’s best fright flicks. Begos has become a Jedi with making these homage filled 80s love letters. Now streaming on Shudder and in limited theatrical release.

-MonsterZero NJ

Rated 3 and 1/2 (out of 4) Christmas presents!

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MONSTERZERO NJ’S SATURDAY NIGHT DOUBLE FEATURE: BLISS and VFW

MonsterZero NJ’s Saturday Night Double Feature is back again and featuring a pair of flicks from director to watch Joe Begos. His latest flick VFW throws some serious love at John Carpenter’s Assault On Precinct 13, and his 2019 flick Bliss is a new twist on the vampire tale!…

BLISS (2019)

Dezzy (Dora Madison) is a down on her luck artist and drug abuser who is having trouble finishing a piece that could turn her life around. She vents her frustration in a night of debauchery, involving alcohol, a new drug from her dealer and a threesome with friend Courtney (Tru Collins) and Courtney’s boyfriend Ronnie (Rhys Wakefield). Not only does this get her working on her painting again, but gives her an insatiable appetite for blood.

Joe Begos writes and directs this sometimes-hallucinogenic tale of artistic block, depravity and vampirism. Begos’ first two features Almost Human and The Mind’s Eye were homage heavy flicks, though very entertaining. Here he shows he can do something outside of his influences and do it well, even on a very small budget, which seems to suit Begos. While not a traditional vampire tale, as Dezzy has no fangs and doesn’t turn into any creatures of the night, it has some gory demises once Dezzy’s thirst drives her to kill. Whatever she is, can be killed by a wooden stake, as Courtney demonstrates by finishing off one of Dezzy’s victims, and apparently sunlight can be lethal, too. Vampires or not, this is a tale of excess and Begos sometimes put’s his audience inside Dezzy’s head trips and it gives us a sense of the state of mind the troubled artist is in. It’s a trip and a disturbing one for all the right reasons. The gore is very plentiful and well-orchestrated and the film itself has a raw feel to it that works very well, as it revels in the seedier side of Los Angeles nightlife. A contemporary vampire tale substituting ancient curses and cloves of garlic for sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

While there are quite a few supporting players, it’s very much a one woman show, and lead Dora Madison (Exists) rises to the occasion. She dives into the role with a passionate yet very real performance. One doesn’t feel like they are watching a movie character, but a real person whose artistic nature has her living a life of excesses and extreme stimulation, and this is before she is transformed into a creature of the night. Her role requires a lot of nudity, drug use and hedonistic behavior, not to mention outbursts of rage, anger and violence when she realizes something is very wrong with her and her bloodlust takes hold. The actress performs it all very well. The supporting cast, such as Collins as Courtney and Jeremy Gardner as Dezzy’s “friend” Clive all create interesting people who seem to dwell more within the underground lifestyle of L.A. A good cast of interesting characters.

Overall, Begos is once again proving he is a filmmaker to watch. His homages to The Thing (Almost Human) and Scanners (The Mind’s Eye) were solid flicks that paid respectful tribute to their inspirations. Here Begos shows he can operate outside his influences and presents a tale of a young woman’s downward spiral into madness, depravity and murder all in the name of artistic expression. It’s trippy, gory and dirty and sleazy in all the right places. Looking forward to Begos’ upcoming VFW about a group of war veterans under siege at a VFW hall.

-MonsterZero NJ

Rated 3 and 1/2 (out of 4) fangs, even if Dezzy doesn’t have any.

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VFW (2019)

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Bliss director Joe Begos’ latest flick takes place in a very near future where a highly addictive drug called “hype” has turned it’s users into violent addicts and city streets into war zones. Inside one of those war zones lives Viet Nam war veteran Fred (Stephen Lang) who runs a VFW hall where his friends and fellow soldiers Walter (William Sadler), Abe (Fred Williamson), Thomas (George Wendt), Lou (Martin Kove) and Doug (David Patrick Kelly) hang out. One night a young woman called Lizard (Sierra McCormick) steals some hype from drug dealer Boz (Travis Hammer), to get revenge on Boz for killing her sister (Linnea Wilson). On the run from Boz and his gang, Lizard runs into the VFW hall for cover. Still men of honor, Fred and the other veterans vow to protect Lizard as Boz, his thugs and an army of frantic hype addicts lay siege to the VFW hall.

Flick is basically John Carpenter’s Assault on Precinct 13 on crack as directed by Begos from a script by Matthew McArdle and Max Brallier. That is in no way a bad thing, as this is a bloody blast of an action flick as the war veterans take on an army of zoned-out drug addicts and a psychotic gang of thugs. We are treated to spurting blood, flying limbs and exploding heads, as the war vets use guns, axes and a host of homemade booby traps and weapons to keep the vicious gang at bay. It’s fast paced, though not enough that we don’t get to know this endearing bunch of men who never stopped being soldiers at heart. That is what makes this click all the better, is that despite all the fast and furious action, Begos lets the script’s messages about respecting and honoring those who have served, shine through. One of the very few issues with the flick is that the army of crazed drug addicts seems to come and go at the needs of the script, instead of consistently laying siege to the VFW hall. They disappear conveniently when the film needs a quiet moment for our characters to regroup. Other than that, Begos accomplishes a lot on a small budget, delivers the blood and action and has assembled a great cast of veteran actors to play his aged warriors…

…and how can you not like this cast! Stephan Lang makes his Fred a world weary yet still honorable and strong man, one who still has nobility and honor. Sadler makes for a very likable Walter, a good-natured man who remembers the days of war as a time of loyalty and friends made. Williamson still kicks ass as the tough yet somewhat mellowing Abe and Martin Kove is solid as the businessman of the group, car salesman Lou. Lou is the only one wanting to “deal” with Boz and his gang to save his own skin. Wendt and Kelly are also likable as grizzled vets Thomas and Doug, who still have their senses of humor about them. As our bad guys, Travis Hammer is a bit weak as Boz. He’s more sleazy than scary or intimidating, but he isn’t a hinderance to the blood-soaked fun. Making up for it is Bliss’ Dora Madison as gang member Gutter. She’s ruthless, vicious and deadly and probably should have been the main villain…just sayin’. Any girl that takes on Fred “The Hammer” Williamson is not to be taken lightly. Rounding out is Tom Williamson (All Cheerleaders Die ) as a young vet named Shawn who wanders into the hall just home from the Middle East, Sierra McCormick (Some Kind of Hate), who is solid as the tough Lizard and Begos regular Graham Skipper as Boz’s brother, Roadie. A good cast.

Overall, this was a blood-soaked blast of a good time that manages to not only be bloody entertaining, but heartfelt about how we should view our war veterans. It’s got a lot of bloody action, but doesn’t move too fast that we don’t endear to these grizzled vets. It has some well rendered and plentiful gore, a great John Carpenter-esque score by Steve Moore and some effective cinematography by Mike Testin. All in all, it might be the most fun you’ll have at a bloodbath in quite some time. Flick is available on Amazon Prime and definitely worth the rental!

-MonsterZero NJ

Rated 3 and 1/2 (out of 4) bullets.

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BARE BONES: SADISTIC INTENTIONS (2018)

SADISTIC INTENTIONS (2018)

Flick has musician Kevin (Michael Patrick Nicholson) inviting his friend Stu (Jeremy Gardner) over to his parent’s house to jam. He also invites pretty stoner Chloe (Taylor Zaudtke) under the pretense of buying drugs. When the two arrive, Kevin is nowhere to be found. While they wait, the blunt and moody Stu and the sweet and free-spirited Chloe start to bond, despite being polar opposites. Unfortunately, as per the film’s title, there is a darker intent to this evening, especially for Chloe.

Interesting and effective little flick is written and directed by Eric Pennycoff. The filmmaker creates an almost deceiving first act as metalhead Stu and hippie chick Chloe start to connect. It’s actually a cute and charming start, even though the opening minutes of the film let us know something bad is coming. Possibly a bit of a miscalculation on Pennycoff’s part, as the title and opening scenes signal that, at some point, this evening is going to go in a disturbing direction. Otherwise, we would have been taken completely off-guard when it goes from sweet, unexpected, potential romance to something darker and ill-intended. It still works, even as it’s no surprise this isn’t a chance meeting between two opposites who attract, but a calculated plan to do something nasty. Again, this is telegraphed by the opening moments and the title, so, it is not a spoiler…and the film still has a few tricks up it’s sleeve. The cast are good. Indie horror fixture Jeremy Gardner is solid as the dark-natured metalhead Stu. We like him despite his sometimes dour, cynical mood. Taylor Zaudtke is absolutely adorable and enchanting as stoner girl Chloe. She’s very crush worthy and we root for her when things turn ugly. Michael Patrick Nicholson is also effective as the disturbed and mysterious Kevin, when he finally appears.

Overall, this is an effective little flick, even if we could have been taken even more by surprise with a little less telegraphing. Eric Pennycoff is a filmmaker to keep an eye on and this flick is worth a look on Amazon Prime. Sadistic Intentions also features some nice cinematography from Malcolm A. Purnell and an effective score by Eric Romary.

-MonsterZero NJ

BARE BONES: AFTER MIDNIGHT (2019)

AFTER MIDNIGHT (2019)

Flick finds a man named Hank (Jeremy Gardner) alone in his rural home after his longtime girlfriend suddenly up and leaves him. Well, not totally alone. The night Abby (Brea Grant from Midnight Movie and RZ’s Halloween II) leaves, he begins to receive visits from a vicious creature, but can prove nothing. Is there really a monster at his door, or is loneliness and not knowing where Abby is driving him crazy?

Star Jeremy Gardner co directs, along with Christian Stella, from his own script. It’s an interesting mix of relationship drama and monster movie. The scenes at night with the creature lurking about are spooky and, surprising enough, it’s not bad as a flick about a relationship crumbling apart. Is Hank imagining his nocturnal visitor due to emotional duress, as local cop Shane (Justin Benson, who co-directed Spring with Aaron Moorhead) believes, or is there really some kind creature targeting Hank in his remote home? The film keeps one guessing and a solid cast helps make the story work. Not to mention Gardner and Stella effectively direct both the scenes of creature carnage…imaginary or not…and the scenes of Hank trying to figure out where his relationship with Abby went wrong. An effective and entertaining little movie from prolific indie actor Gardner (Bliss, Mind’s Eye, Spring), who has apparently been paying attention to some of the talented filmmakers he’s worked for and with.

-MonsterZero NJ

MONSTERZERO NJ’S SATURDAY NIGHT DOUBLE FEATURE: THE DEVIL’S CANDY and BLISS

Been a long time since the last MonsterZero NJ’s Saturday Night Double Feature, but after re-watching Joe Begos’ Bliss, I realized it would make a great double feature with Sean Byrne’s The Devil’s Candy. Both flicks feature tortured artists, supernatural influences on their art, hard core music and neither skimps on blood and gore. So, on to the sex, gore and Rock n’ Roll!…

THE DEVIL’S CANDY (2015)

(Remember, clicking the highlighted links brings you to other reviews and articles here at The Movie Madhouse!)

I’m a huge fan of Sean Byrne’s The Loved Ones and was obviously looking forward to seeing another flick from him…and finally, after eight years, it’s here. The Devil’s Candy is Byrne’s newest film, made in 2015, it’s only now getting a proper release on VOD and in select theaters from the cool folks at IFC Midnight.

The story here is of heavy metal loving artist Jesse (Ethan Embry), who moves to an old rural farmhouse with his wife Astrid (Shiri Appleby) and chip-off-the-old-block teen daughter Zooey (Kiara Glasco). While Jesse and Astrid know that the couple that formerly lived there died in the house, what they don’t know is that it is also home to some kind of malevolent influence. If it’s not bad enough that Jesse’s art starts to take a dark and ominous tone soon after moving in, Ray (Pruitt Taylor Vince), the child murdering son of the previous owners, wants to come home…and he has set his demented sights on Zooey.

While not quite as intense as The Loved Ones, and lacking it’s twisted sense of humor, this is still an atmospheric, disturbing and sometimes brutally violent horror flick. The mix of heavy metal music and demonic horror, obviously works as the two have been paired up since Black Sabbath took to the airwaves in 1968. While the demonic influence elements are nothing new, they are very effective as used by Bryne, draped in his thick atmosphere of foreboding. The most disturbing elements, though, are obviously Ray’s need to “feed” The Devil his favorite candy…children. He stalks Zooey right out in the open and the distraction the malevolent entity feeds Jesse by way of his art, leaves poor Zooey unprotected. It creates some very unsettling scenes as Ray gets closer to obtaining his goal, including one in Zooey’s bedroom that is absolutely bone chilling. This all leads up to not one but two harrowing sequences with Zooey and the rotund pervert, each more intense than the last. There are some drawbacks. The film comes in at a very tight 79 minutes and it sometimes feels too quickly over for it’s own good. We wish we had a little more time to let certain scenes resonate and be given a little more time to let the disturbing nature of what is transpiring sink in before moving on to the next dramatic moment. It is also never quite clear whether it is this demonic influence that led Ray to kill, or was it his homicidal habit that brought the entity into the house…if not…why is it there? On a technical level the film looks great and while there is some week CGI during the climax, the rest of the FX work is solid and there is a really atmospheric score from Mads Heldtberg, Michael Yezerski and the band Sunn O)))

If anything helps one past some of the flaws, it’s a really good cast. Ethan Embry has become a fixture in some good horror/thrillers lately such as the frustrated son in the awesome Late Phases, or the ill-fated gun dealer in The Guest. He is really good here, not only as metal head/family man Jesse, but in portraying Jesse’s gradual transformation from attentive father into obsessed artist. As his frustrated and scared wife, Shiri Appleby is solid as a woman whose family life is disrupted from both within and without. She has a suddenly moody and unfocused husband at home and a hulking child killer lurking about after her daughter. Appleby makes her a bit more than a damsel in distress, though she isn’t given as much to do when all hell breaks loose as we’d have liked. Kiara Glasco makes a really good impression as Zooey. A teen who walks to the beat of her father influenced drum but is her own person. She’s a tough kid and a little rebellious and the young actress has a great chemistry with Embry, so their father/daughter relationship really works well on screen. She has a couple of tough scenes to portray and does a good job. Making this all come together is a really disturbing performance by veteran actor Pruitt Taylor Vince (recently seen as “Otis” in The Walking Dead). Vince really makes Ray a creepy person who makes you uncomfortable every moment he’s on camera. It really makes you fear for Zooey, especially when he catches up to her…more than once. He makes your skin crawl. A solid cast just as in Byrne’s first flick.

So maybe writer/director Sean Byrne hasn’t quite equaled The Loved Ones in his sophomore feature flick, but he has delivered another disturbing, atmospheric and bloody movie that is of a different sort than his previous twisted love story. This plot may be a bit more commonplace, but he uses the familiar tropes very effectively. The theatrical cut…wikipedia lists a 10 minute longer festival cut…may be a little too short for it’s own good and there are some unanswered questions, but a really strong cast and a director who knows how to turn the screws makes up for a lot of it. Highly recommended. especially if you loved Sean Byrne’s previous work.

-MonsterZero NJ

3 and1/2 (out of 4) screaming guitars!

 

 

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BLISS (2019)

Dezzy (Dora Madison) is a down on her luck artist and drug abuser who is having trouble finishing a piece that could turn her life around. She vents her frustration in a night of debauchery, involving alcohol, a new drug from her dealer and a threesome with friend Courtney (Tru Collins) and Courtney’s boyfriend Ronnie (Rhys Wakefield). Not only does this get her working on her painting again, but gives her an insatiable appetite for blood.

Joe Begos writes and directs this sometimes hallucinogenic tale of artistic block, depravity and vampirism. Begos’ first two features Almost Human and The Mind’s Eye were homage heavy flicks, though very entertaining. Here he shows he can do something outside of his influences and do it well, even on a very small budget, which seems to suit Begos. While not a traditional vampire tale, as Dezzy has no fangs and doesn’t turn into any creatures of the night, it has some gory demises once Dezzy’s thirst drives her to kill. Whatever she is, can be killed by a wooden stake, as Courtney demonstrates by finishing off one of Dezzy’s victims, and apparently sunlight can be lethal, too. Vampires or not, this is a tale of excess and Begos sometimes put’s his audience inside Dezzy’s head trips and it gives us a sense of the state of mind the troubled artist is in. It’s a trip and a disturbing one for all the right reasons. The gore is very plentiful and well orchestrated and the film itself has a raw feel to it that works very well, as it revels in the seedier side of Los Angeles nightlife. A contemporary vampire tale substituting ancient curses and cloves of garlic for sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

While there are quite a few supporting players, it’s very much a one woman show and lead Dora Madison (Exists) rises to the occasion. She dives into the role with a passionate yet very real performance. One doesn’t feel like they are watching a movie character, but a real person whose artistic nature has her living a life of excesses and extreme stimulation, and this is before she is transformed into a creature of the night. Her role requires a lot of nudity, drug use and hedonistic behavior, not to mention outbursts of rage, anger and violence when she realizes something is very wrong with her and her bloodlust takes hold. The actress performs it all very well. The supporting cast, such as Collins as Courtney and Jeremy Gardner as Dezzy’s “friend” Clive all create interesting people who seem to dwell more within the underground lifestyle of L.A. A good cast of interesting characters.

Overall, Begos is once again proving he is a filmmaker to watch. His homages to The Thing (Almost Human) and Scanners (The Mind’s Eye) were solid flicks that paid respectful tribute to their inspirations. Here Begos shows he can operate outside his influences and presents a tale of a young woman’s downward spiral into madness, depravity and murder all in the name of artistic expression. It’s trippy, gory and dirty and sleazy in all the right places. Looking forward to Begos’ upcoming VFW about a group of war veterans under siege at a VFW hall.

-MonsterZero NJ

 

Rated 3 and 1/2 (out of 4) fangs, even if Dezzy doesn’t have any.

 

 

 

 

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HORROR YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED: BLISS (2019)

BLISS (2019)

Dezzy (Dora Madison) is a down on her luck artist and drug abuser who is having trouble finishing a piece that could turn her life around. She vents her frustration in a night of debauchery, involving alcohol, a new drug from her dealer and a threesome with friend Courtney (Tru Collins) and Courtney’s boyfriend Ronnie (Rhys Wakefield). Not only does this get her working on her painting again, but gives her an insatiable appetite for blood.

Joe Begos writes and directs this sometimes hallucinogenic tale of artistic block, depravity and vampirism. Begos’ first two features Almost Human and The Mind’s Eye were homage heavy flicks, though very entertaining. Here he shows he can do something outside of his influences and do it well, even on a very small budget, which seems to suit Begos. While not a traditional vampire tale, as Dezzy has no fangs and doesn’t turn into any creatures of the night, it has some gory demises once Dezzy’s thirst drives her to kill. Whatever she is, can be killed by a wooden stake, as Courtney demonstrates by finishing off one of Dezzy’s victims, and apparently sunlight can be lethal, too. Vampires or not, this is a tale of excess and Begos sometimes put’s his audience inside Dezzy’s head trips and it gives us a sense of the state of mind the troubled artist is in. It’s a trip and a disturbing one for all the right reasons. The gore is very plentiful and well orchestrated and the film itself has a raw feel to it that works very well, as it revels in the seedier side of Los Angeles nightlife. A contemporary vampire tale substituting ancient curses and cloves of garlic for sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.

While there are quite a few supporting players, it’s very much a one woman show and lead Dora Madison (Exists) rises to the occasion. She dives into the role with a passionate yet very real performance. One doesn’t feel like they are watching a movie character, but a real person whose artistic nature has her living a life of excesses and extreme stimulation, and this is before she is transformed into a creature of the night. Her role requires a lot of nudity, drug use and hedonistic behavior, not to mention outbursts of rage, anger and violence when she realizes something is very wrong with her and her bloodlust takes hold. The actress performs it all very well. The supporting cast, such as Collins as Courtney and Jeremy Gardner as Dezzy’s “friend” Clive all create interesting people who seem to dwell more within the underground lifestyle of L.A. A good cast of interesting characters.

Overall, Begos is once again proving he is a filmmaker to watch. His homages to The Thing (Almost Human) and Scanners (The Mind’s Eye) were solid flicks that paid respectful tribute to their inspirations. Here Begos shows he can operate outside his influences and presents a tale of a young woman’s downward spiral into madness, depravity and murder all in the name of artistic expression. It’s trippy, gory and dirty and sleazy in all the right places. Looking forward to Begos’ upcoming VFW about a group of war veterans under siege at a VFW hall.

-MonsterZero NJ

 

Rated 3 and 1/2 (out of 4) fangs, even if Dezzy doesn’t have any.

 

 

 

 

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BARE BONES: THE BATTERY and TUSK

THE BATTERY (2012)

I don’t mind that Jeremy Gardner’s zombie flick is character driven but, the fact that it and it’s characters are excruciatingly boring is the problem here. Story finds two ex-baseball players, Ben and Mickey (Jeremy Gardner and Adam Cronheim) ambling across country in the middle of a zombie apocalypse in search of a group of survivors who apparently want nothing to do with the duo. The film wanders aimlessly much like it’s two characters and ultimately doesn’t really go anywhere or accomplish anything. And that might have been fine if these two weren’t so dull to watch and listen too. What little zombie action there is, is well done but, otherwise this is a snoozer! An over-praised waste of time.

TUSK (2014)

I liked Kevin’s Smith’s second attempt at horror for the simple reason that he takes an outright ludicrous story and makes a fairly disturbing flick out of it. Bizarre tale finds renown podcaster Wallace (Justin Long) traveling to Canada in pursuit of a story which doesn’t pan out. Not wanting to leave empty-handed, he stumbles upon an ad from an old man (Michael Parks) looking to share his adventures with someone so, he answers. What follows is a nightmare, as the old man holds him hostage and begins to surgically transform him into a walrus. Obviously this sounds silly but, it is actually really disturbing thanks to good direction and phenomenal performances by Parks and Long. The film only stumbles when Smith brings in an uncredited Johnny Depp as an eccentric former cop from Quebec, who is hunting Parks’ mysterious serial killer. Depp’s character belongs in one of Smith’s comedies or a Pink Panther sequel and not here. Aside from that and the last act getting a little silly, the film is successfully chilling and Smith even creeps you out with it ridiculous climax. Now if only he’d put together a serious horror script, Smith might actually become a horror director to reckon with! Also stars Haley Joel Osment as his podcast partner, Ted and Genesis Rodriguez as his long suffering girlfriend, Ally.