BARE BONES: 7 GUARDIANS OF THE TOMB (2018)

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7 GUARDIANS OF THE TOMB (2018)

Chinese/Australian action adventure is also known as Guardians of the Tomb and Nest and is a dull movie that is basically Indiana Jones meets any random SYFY nature run amok flick. Story finds intrepid adventurer Luke (Wu Chun) disappearing while searching for an ancient elixir of eternal life in a giant underground tomb in China. His scheming employer Mason (Kelsey Grammer) convinces Luke’s sister Jia (Li Bingbing) to join the rescue team to be sent into the tomb to find him. What they do find is that the tomb is filled with a swarm of vicious and highly poisonous spiders and that Kelsey Grammer and producer/star Li Bingbing must have really needed rent money.

Inept adventure is directed by Kimble Rendall from a really bad script by he and Paul Staheli. The film seems made up as it goes along and just spins a web of clichés, almost as fast as our cheesy CGI spiders can kill supporting characters with their lethal venom. The spiders’ many abilities seem to be created simply to serve the purpose of a specific scene and director Rendall gets some really bad performances out of his cast, including Grammer and his leading lady, who have been far better in other projects. The FX are cheesy, the dialog awful, the sets are right out of any low budget Indiana Jones rip-off and even Kellan Lutz looks like he’d rather be someplace else. The idea of gorgeous Li Bingbing as an Asian Lara Croft is tantalizing and this flick ruins even that. A waste of time.

-MonsterZero NJ

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