HORROR YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED: THE SHALLOWS (2016)

THE SHALLOWS (2016)

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Jaume Collet-Serra (House Of Wax, Non-Stop) directs this tale of pretty, Texas surfer-girl Nancy Adams (Blake Lively), who is searching for a remote and secluded Mexican beach that her mother once visited. It has sentimental value as her mother is now gone and Nancy locates the beach to spend some soul-searching time there. What Nancy doesn’t know is that a massive great white shark has staked out the bay as a hunting ground and soon Nancy finds herself stranded, alone and wounded as she clings to dear life on a small cluster of rocks. As the sun beats down on her and she slowly bleeds to death, the predator circles her small safe haven waiting for an opportunity to finish it’s meal.

Jaume Collet-Serra directs from Anthony Jaswinski’s script and despite a premise ripe for it, doesn’t really generate much suspense till the last act confrontation between Lively’s surfer and the big fish. Till the buoy set finale, what does keeps us involved is watching Nancy’s tenacious will to live and her ingenuity in trying to keep her bite wound from bleeding out and staying alive in general. Other than that, the film gives us a few victims in the form of some surfer dudes and a drunk local to illustrate that our seafaring predator means business, though the demises are fairly tame and lack impact with adhering to the PG-13 rating. Basically, it’s not until the last ten minutes, or so, that we get the intensity and action we came for. The film isn’t boring or badly directed, but maybe it’s just that the whole shark theme is as played out as zombie apocalypses as to why Collet-Serra really can’t turn up the screws till the final moments. He’s a competent director, but the film seems a little laid back for a movie about a woman fighting for her life against time, the elements and one big ass shark. There are also a few lines of clumsy dialog, as Nancy vocalizes her inner monologue and an annoying use of the new trend of displaying smart phone communication and texts on-screen that thankfully ends quickly once Nancy is separated from her phone. If anything, it’s our leading lady and her portrayal of the gutsy surfer-girl/med student that keeps us with the flick till she and Jaws Jr. go mono-a-mono.

It’s basically a one woman show and Blake Lively carries the flick well on her shapely shoulders. She gives Nancy some nice depth as a woman who is dealing with the loss of her mother and trying to also settle some issues in her own life. She creates a feeling that this place is important to her, which resonates when it becomes a place not of solace, but where death awaits her one way or another. She gives us a tenacious and resourceful woman who refuses to give up and all she has to do is outsmart and overcome one of the most aggressive predators on earth. If Collet-Serra wasn’t completely successful in keeping an atmosphere of intensity, at least his leading lady kept us engaged with a very endearing and strong-willed heroine. A good job by Lively.

Overall the film is moderately entertaining, but is a bit too laid back despite the urgency of it’s premise. Jaume Collet-Serra doesn’t direct badly, though he doesn’t really turn the screws till the last act. What keeps us involved, in a what is now a familiar shark tale, is strong work by Blake Lively, who proves she is more than a pretty face and body as the strong-willed and three dimensional Nancy. The shark FX are just fine and maybe Collet-Serra was paddling upstream with a type of film that has basically lost it’s effectiveness due to dozens of campy shark-themed SYFY flicks and The Asylum’s Sharknado series. After seeing sharks battle David Hasselhoff in space, it is kind of hard to take them seriously again.

-MonsterZero NJ

2 and 1/2 hungry great whites.

 

HORROR YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED: GREEN ROOM (2016)

GREEN ROOM (2016)

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Flick is written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier who also made the entertaining but somewhat overrated Blue Ruin. The story finds down-on-their-luck punk band the The Ain’t Rights (Anton Yelchin, Joe Cole, Callum Turner and Alia Shawkat) taking a gig at a remote backwoods club in Oregon run by neo-nazis and heroine dealers. They walk in on the murder of a local girl by one of the skinheads (Brent Werzner) and now find themselves trapped in the club green room, with the dead girl’s friend (Imogen Poots), as the owner, Darcy (Patrick Stewart) tries to figure out how to keep these outsiders quiet…permanently. Soon the band are in a brutal fight for their lives as Darcy and his white supremacists try to set their fatal plan in motion.

Saulnier creates a vicious and brutal little thriller with some surprising horror movie level gore and an intense last act, but like his Blue Ruin, it’s not quite as suspenseful and gripping as it could be. One of the reasons is that it takes almost an hour before it really starts to get intense and there is a about a half hour of meandering about after the set-up. There is some awkward negotiating back and forth through a locked door that occurs at this time and it really doesn’t go anywhere till Darcy finally sends his thugs in after them. Another reason is that the character development is a little thin, especially on the bad guy’s side and thus the villains, aside from Stewart, could have had more menace and we could have been a bit more endeared to the band. Once the group leaves the green room, there is some cat and mouse action between skinheads and punk band that provides some brutal and violent results. Then the movie hits it’s stride and we are engaged till the final blood-soaked confrontation with Darcy and the survivors. Here in the final third, the flick works and is at it’s most effective.

The cast perform well enough, though the lack of strong character development does hinder their efforts a bit. The late Anton Yelchin is our lead as the cowardly Pat who has to rise above his fears to fight for his life and it is a cliché role, but Yelchin is solid as always. Stewart oozes menace as the neo-nazi leader Darcy and the choice to play the role more understated makes Darcy far more scary than an over-the-top villain. Cole, Turner and Shawkat are fine as the rest of the band, but again, the lack of stronger character development leaves us less endeared to them, especially Turner’s Tiger, who is focused on the least. Poots is fine as Amber, the friend of the murdered girl and while Amber is a fighter, she is also underdeveloped and sort of just thrown in with the band when things hit the fan, so we never develop a strong bond with her character either.

Not a completely successful thriller, but still an entertaining and sometimes very brutal one. Would have been more effective with better character development on both sides, especially with the bad guys and if the middle act wasn’t a bit stagnant. It does click into gear in the final third and then we get some suspenseful moments, some vicious violence and some of the intensity we came for. Jeremy Saulnier seems like a filmmaker in progress and may yet really wow us when he connects on all cylinders.

-MonsterZero NJ

3 machetes.

TOMB OF NOSTALGIA: DRESSED TO KILL (1980)

DRESSED TO KILL (1980)

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1980 thriller opens with bored and sexually unsatisfied high society housewife Kate Miller (Angie Dickinson) having a rather rough sexual fantasy while her husband is pounding away at her. She relays this frustration to her therapist, Dr. Robert Elliott (Michael Caine) and even hits on him to no avail. Kate finally has an affair with a stranger she meets at an art gallery, but is savagely murdered by a mysterious blonde in the elevator on her way out. The murder is witnessed by high priced hooker Liz Blake (Nancy Allen) who now is caught between the killer who saw her as well and a cop (Dennis Franz) who uses her to help him investigate Elliot, whom he thinks knows more about the killer than he is saying. Will Liz get out of this mess alive?

As written and directed by Brian De Palma this is a bombastic and overindulgent thriller with a slight case of Psycho envy and every bit of it is intentional. Subtlety is not De Palma’s style and he directs the film with a hand that evokes both Alfred Hitchcock and Dario Argento, especially when bathed in Pino Donaggio’s operatic score. The cinematography is lush, the violence is intense and bloody and despite some very raunchy dialog and some intense sexual overtones, the film does retain some class, even when it’s not trying to be classy. There is some nice suspense, a couple of intense chases and upon first viewing, it is a provocative mystery as to who our homicidal femme fatale “Bobbi” really is. The fun of repeat viewings, is seeing how obvious the killer’s identity is in hindsight, as the clues where there all the time. There is some nice interaction between Allen’s sassy hooker and Kate’s inventor son Peter (Keith Gordon) as the two team to hunt down the killer, Liz to save her own skin and Peter to avenge his mother’s death. Complimenting this sexually charged thriller is the before mentioned cinematography by Ralf D. Bode and that melodramatic score by Donaggio who also scored Joe Dante’s horror classics Piranha and The Howling. If the film has any failings, it can be a little too melodramatic for it’s own good and approaches borderline silly in a few spots. Most of this comes in the first act with Kate’s game of sexual cat and mouse with the stranger at the art gallery being a prime example. It’s a bit much to the point of camp, but otherwise this is an entertaining erotic thriller.

The cast is top notch. Caine is mysterious and aloof as Dr. Elliott. He knows far more than he is telling about his patient “Bobbi” and keeps us in the dark as to just how involved he is, aside from knowing victim and killer. Nancy Allen is sexy and sassy as Liz. She’s hunted by a killer and being manipulated by police and Allen portrays a women trapped in the middle with few friends, but a lot of spunk, very well…and she’s quite hot in the role, Speaking of hot, Angie Dickinson was almost 50 when she portrayed the fiery and sexually frustrated Kate and she exudes sexual desire and a touching sadness in a very solid performance. She was also still stunningly gorgeous (even with the knowledge that she had a body double for the infamous shower scene) and her character evoked sympathy from the audience long before her harrowing and gruesome death by straight razor. Gordon is also good as Kate’s genius nerd of a son and we can see why Carpenter chose him three years later to play equally nerdy Arnie Cunningham in Christine. Rounding out is Dennis Franz as the sleazy, yet still somewhat charming and likable Det. Marino. A really good cast.

Brian De Palma’s most infamous flick is part Hitchcockian mystery/thriller and part Italian giallo. It’s got violence, loads of sexual tinged scenes and dialog and a mysterious figure in black stalking her prey. It can be delightfully bombastic and operatic at times, although sometimes too much for it’s own good. It’s got a solid cast and at this point, loads of 80s nostalgia. Not perfect, but a fun and entertaining mystery thriller with an elevator murder that sticks with you long the flick is over.

-MonsterZero NJ

3 straight razors.

 

 

 

BARE BONES: THE ONES BELOW and THE FUNHOUSE MASSACRE

THE ONES BELOW (2015)

British thriller has young couple Kate and Justin (Clémence Poésy and Stephen Campbell Moore) expecting their first child, as are the new and very odd neighbors downstairs, Jon and Theresa (Walking Dead’s David Morrissey and Laura Birn). When Kate and Justin invite the neighbors to a cozy dinner party, an accident ends Theresa’s pregnancy and the neighbors hold them accountable. Things seem to be all forgiven month’s later when Kate gives birth, but slowly she starts to believe it’s a smokescreen and that Jon and Theresa have sinister plans for her newborn son.

Written and directed by David Farr, this is a average thriller. It might have worked better if we were given stronger reasons to doubt that Kate is right about her neighbors intent and that the neighbors weren’t so weird and thus immediately suspicious. It also makes no sense that after the initial anger and blame, that Kate and Justin would so easily accept the neighbor’s change of heart, even to the point of letting Theresa continually baby-sit. It is just simply not believable. Still there are some effective moments and the cast do perform their roles well, which makes it work far better than it should.

-MonsterZero NJ

THE FUNHOUSE MASSACRE (2015)

Flick has five serial killers broken out of an asylum on Halloween night by one’s equally twisted daughter (Candice De Visser). They take up residence at a Halloween funhouse attraction where they are all being represented in the exhibits. At the same time, a group of friends visit the funhouse having no idea that the exhibits are now horribly real. Obviously, you can tell where this is going to go.

It doesn’t make sense to pick on this for being too familiar, as it is a homage and therefor the familiarity is on purpose. But, unfortunately, as a horror/comedy it’s neither scary nor funny and that’s what keeps it from being much fun. Written by Ben Begley (who also plays the cliché stupid deputy) with Renee Dorlan and directed by Andy Palmer, the film tries hard, but fails to accomplish it’s goals and is overall rather dull. It’s a shame, because it certainly has it’s heart in the right place and the production looks good for a low budget flick with some abundant and very impressive gore. It’s just that it lacks any scares or laughs and even the stale jokes have been made many times before. Only familiar face in the cast is the legendary Robert Englund in a brief appearance as the Asylum warden.

-MonsterZero NJ

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE ESTIMATES JUNE 24-26

Complete estimates are in for the weekend box office

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1. “Finding Dory” $73.2 Million

2. “Independence Day: Resurgence” $41.6 Million

3. “Central Intelligence” $18.3 Million

4. “The Shallows” $16.7 Million

5. “Free State Of Jones” $7.8 Million

6. “The Conjuring 2” $7.7 Million

7. “Now You See Me 2” $5.7 Million

8. “X-Men: Apocalypse” $2.5 Million

9. “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows” $2.4 Million

10. “Alice Through The Looking Glass” $2.1 Million

 

source: Box Office Mojo

REVIEW: INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE (2016)

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE (2016)

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Film picks up two decades after the events of the original Independence Day with earth having rebuilt and now using recovered alien technology to devise a better defense system in case the invaders return…and they do. Right before they were taken down in 1996, a distress signal was issued and now it’s getting a response. With a massive ‘harvester’ ship heading towards earth, familiar and new faces must band together to battle this even more formidable invasion.

The first Indepenence Day may have been silly, corny and loaded with clichés, but it was also fun, charming and had loads of heart. Sadly, it’s sequel is a cold, soulless and actually kinda dull, follow-up that can’t even generate some emotional intensity with some major story points involving beloved characters. And while speaking of characters, the film is so quick to get to the destruction and carnage, that none of the new characters get any real development and thus we are never as endeared to them like we were to the first film’s ensemble. In fact, most of this film’s effective moments feature some of the returning characters and the newbies are left to sort of clean-up behind them. The film also feels like it was edited down quite a bit in an attempt to make it more fast moving and get to the explosions quicker. At least the first film took it’s time to set-up the story and introduce it’s stereotyped characters. Roland Emmerich directs this sequel very by-the-numbers and only sparsely does he recapture a little of the old ID4 spirit. Sure, there are a few moments, especially during the final confrontation, though one has to laugh that the battle with the giant alien queen was a far better monster movie than Emmerich’s entire Godzilla. He finally figured it out 18 years later. There is a lot of action here, though it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. If Emmerich was smart about something, he keeps the city destruction to a minimum as it’s been overdone in so many movies, including his own, since he blasted worldwide landmarks back in 1996. The SPFX are top notch, but basically boils down to the same Star Wars-esque dog fights that also have been done to death since Star Wars and Emmerich fails to give any of it a sense of urgency or intensity…and they are also kinda hard to follow as all the ships look alike in combat. This keeps us detached from what’s going on. Again, it’s pretty lifeless for a movie that sacrifices story and plot development to concentrate on the action. Speaking of story, Emmerich co-wrote the script with ID4 partner Dean Devlin and three other writers and it’s sad that five people churned out such a routine and formula flick. There are a few interesting elements, such as the previous invasion’s effect on Earth, a really interesting segment in Africa and the possibility that this formidable enemy might have enemies of it’s own, but it’s not enough to make this truly engaging. Even the first film’s goofy sense of humor has been toned down considerably making it a lot drier in the humor department. The first film wasn’t afraid to make you laugh, even in the middle of dramatic moments.

The cast is a mix of familiar and new faces and none of them are given anything really special to do or even the kind of corny, melodramatic moments that made the first film such cornball fun. Pullman, Goldblum, Judd Hirsch and Spiner all try hard to give the flick a little life, but even they seem to be performing by-the-numbers at times. Only Hirsch really feels like the guy we saw in ID4 and he also doesn’t seem to have aged any more in the twenty years since. Pullman has a big moment, too that is mishandled and it’s a shame as it should have been one of the film’s standout scenes. Emmerich blows a lot of moments like this and big moments is what made the first flick fun. As for the newbies, Liam Hemsworth, Jessie Usher and It Follows‘ Maika Monroe all come across as bland and that’s disappointing, especially as this is Monroe’s jump to the big time after getting attention in last years horror hit. It’s not totally their fault, as the script doesn’t give them much to work with and the focus keeps shifting back and forth from the previous to the new generation, which gives the old school cast the advantage, as we are already familiar with them. The new generation are underused and even vet William Fichtner fails to really make a strong general turned President as Pullman successfully did with his war hero president in the first film. A good but underused cast. Will Smith is definitely missed.

So, while one was hoping this would be the surprise delight of the summer, it’s just another disappointment. It never captures the corny fun of the 1996 classic and is very cold, routine and by-the-numbers sequel. Roland Emmerich fails to recreate the magic with some of it’s returning characters and squanders the potential of it’s new generation characters and the charming young actors that play them. It’s a heartless and lazy sequel that only sporadically delivers brief moments that evoke the silly popcorn crowd pleaser that captured the hearts and dollars of a generation in 1996. Sometimes thing are better left…un-sequeled?

Personal Note: At least I can boast that I saw the original on July 4th, 1996 in a packed theater in Long Beach Island, N.J. while on vacation there with friends.

-MonsterZero NJ

2 aggressive aliens.

FIRST TRAILER FOR MIKE FLANAGAN’S “OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL”

We finally get a trailer for Mike Flanagan’s (Oculus, Hush) follow-up to Blumhouse Productions’ 2014 teen-centric horror hit Ouija. While originally thought to be a sequel, this seems more like a prequel or possibly a completely unrelated period piece with a ouija board being the only common thread. Either way the flick is headed our way 10/21/16 right in time for the Halloween season!

-MonsterZero NJ

TOMB OF NOSTALGIA: HE KNOWS YOU’RE ALONE (1980)

HE KNOWS YOU’RE ALONE (1980)

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He Knows You’re Alone is a ho-hum early 80s slasher that has it’s killer targeting brides to be. We find out early on, that the unhinged Ray Carlton (Tom Rolfing) murdered his ex-girlfriend on her wedding day. She was the fiancé of Detective Len Gamble (Lewis Arlt) who is now hot on the trail of the serial killer, who targets women engaged to be married. Carlton has picked pretty Amy Jensen (Caitlin O’Heaney) as his next victim and now Gamble races to stop him as Amy’s friends start to meet gruesome ends, leaving a trail of bodies that lead to her.

Flick is directed very flatly by Armand Mastroianni from a script by Scott Parker that is obviously inspired by Halloween. It’s opening murder even resembles Michael Myers’ slaughtering of his sister in that film’s opening moments. This film though, rarely generates any suspense or scares and has a very unremarkable killer as its villain. It’s also very slow paced and while a moderate pace was normal for early 80s slashers, this seems more on the lethargic side. There isn’t really much to talk about in the acting or dialog categories either, though lead Caitlin O’Heaney is cute and likable and there is the first feature film appearance of one Tom Hanks, who is a psychology student that starts dating Amy’s friend Nancy (Elizabeth Kemp). The body count is fairly small and the kills are rather tame and while there is some blood, there is little gore save for a badly rendered severed head. There are a couple of scenes that work somewhat. There is a decent sequence set in a dark house as Amy’s friend Joyce (Patsy Pease) and her married professor, lover (James Rebhorn) fatally meet Carlton. The end chase scene in the tunnels under the city morgue, where Amy’s ex-boyfriend Marvin (Don Scardino) works, has a little pep, but the fact that such a small building has such an extensive labyrinth of tunnels beneath it, makes it kinda odd and amusing. Other than that, the film is fairly uneventful and there doesn’t seem to be any reason for the bride-hating killer to be murdering Amy’s friends. Does he hate bridesmaids, too? On a production level the film looks low budget and the score by Mark and Alexander Peskanov also has a very Halloween vibe to it. The low budget did work in the film’s favor, as it made almost 20x it’s budget back in theaters.

Sure there is some nostalgia, though it’s a bit more 70s-ish than 80s as this was filmed in 1979. The opening sequence in an old style movie theater is especially quaint and nostalgic for those born before the era of the multiplex. The acting is nothing to talk about, though some of the characters are likable. The killer and his kills are dull and there is little suspense leading up to them. There are a few sequences that work, though, overall, it’s rather lifeless and tame.

One of the earliest of the Halloween inspired slashers, but unfortunately one of the least remarkable save for the first film appearance of future Academy Award winner, Tom Hanks.

-MonsterZero NJ

2 knives.

 

 

 

 

 

HORROR YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED: BASKIN (2015)

BASKIN (2015)

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Baskin is a Turkish horror film from Can Evrenol that is sort of a mix of Hellraiser, Martyrs and Caligula. In essence a family film! Flick has a squad of tough guy cops called in to a remote, rural area as back-up for some sort of investigation in progress. They get into an accident when they arrive and meet some strange locals who lead them to an abandoned police precinct. There they find a lone survivor of the previous squad babbling incoherently and once they investigate into the bowels of the rundown building, the men find themselves literally in a hell on earth that there may be no escape from.

Evrenol directs from a script he co-wrote with Ogulcan Eren Akay, though there really isn’t much of a story as it is just a very basic set-up to the carnage. He does create a very thick and lasting atmosphere of dread from the opening dream sequence and paints his tale of demonic horror with an intense and very disturbing visual style. He also splashes his canvas with gallons of blood and entrails, acts of horrific violence and some ugly sexual perversion, too, just in case you were missing the point. And that’s were this film does stumble, there really doesn’t seem to be much point to this once it’s all over. After over 90 minutes of some very disturbing sights and acts, the film ends as mysteriously as it began. Who are these people that live in the bowels of the abandoned police station? What exactly is their purpose in torture and murder? Did these men somehow bring this on themselves? The ambiguity works to a degree, but it also gives us a bit of a hollow feeling instead of being truly horrified. The film may be disturbing and downright disgusting at times, but it’s never really ever scary and ultimately is much ado about nothing. It does seem like Evrenol doesn’t have much of a goal here other than to present a series of nightmarish sequences, although he does do that very well. The characters are also not all that endearing and some are outright unlikable, nor do we get to know them all that well. Because of this, we aren’t very attached or empathetic to them once they start being savaged. On a production level the gore is really well done and Evrenol’s nightmarish visuals are well captured by Alp Korfali’s lens and accented by a really effective score by Ulas Pakkan. As for the cast, they are obviously Turkish actors unknown to most movie goers outside their native land, but they all were all fine and effective with their parts…which consisted mostly of yelling and being evicerated.

This isn’t a movie you can say you liked in the true sense of the word. It is very effective in many ways, such as the nightmarish atmosphere and some horrific visuals and acts of perversion and violence that chill. On the downside, the characters aren’t all that well-rounded or likable and we don’t get much of a story to go with the gallons of blood. It’s more of a set piece that we should be more emotionally invested in for it to really wow us, but we aren’t. An effective visceral horror, but a little shallow on the emotional investment side.

-MonsterZero NJ

3 creepy frogs.

 

BARE BONES: THE DARKNESS and HARDCORE HENRY

THE DARKNESS (2016)

Not sure what is the worst thing about this cliché and incredibly routine flick, the fact that it blatantly lifts scenes and plot elements from Poltergeist and the Paranormal Activity series, or that this boring and unimaginative waste of time is from Greg McLean who made the intense and disturbing Wolf Creek.

C0-written, with S.P. Krause and Shayne Armstrong and directed by Greg McLean, film has the Taylor family (Kevin Bacon and Radha Mitchell) taking their daughter Stephanie (Lucy Fry) and autistic son Michael (David Mazouz) to the desert for a camping excursion. Michael strays away, finding a hidden cave and removing some ancient Native American ceremonial stones. An angry spirit comes home with him, as does every overused haunted house cliché McLean and company could think of. Boring, horribly derivative and yet took three writers to come up with. The most disturbing thing about it is the use of an autistic boy as a victimized plot device. Still can’t believe this is the same guy that gave us the nail-biting Wolf Creek and the nerve wracking giant alligator flick Rogue.

-MonsterZero NJ

HARDCORE HENRY (2015)

Absolutely awful waste of time is a headache inducing tale of a man named Henry (played by various cameras) who is killed and resurrected as a cybernetic killing machine. The film is told completely from his POV as he rebels against his creators and tries to rescue his wife (Kristy’s Haley Bennet), who is a scientist that works for his makers. Helping him is rouge scientist (Sharlto Copley) who also bares a grudge against the megalomaniacal Akan (Danila Kozlovsky), who is behind all this.

 As written and directed by Ilya Naishuller, this annoying and grating mess is a pathetic attempt to appeal to the gamer generation brought up on violent and gory POV video games. Based on the dismal box office, they failed. Complete garbage and an utter waste of 90 minutes spent doing almost anything else. Haley Bennet was so good in Kristy, and I hope being in this junk isn’t a mistake for an actress that shows a lot of promise. Best for her career this film is forgotten as soon as possible. I’d like to forget it, I know that.

-MonsterZero NJ