TOMB OF NOSTALGIA: THE LOST EMPIRE (1983)

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THE LOST EMPIRE (1983)

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The Lost Empire is a fun B-movie exploitation flick from writer/director Jim Wynorski (The Return Of Swamp Thing, Chopping Mall), who made a career churning out comic book-style cheese like this. In his first film, Wynorski spins a James Bond-esque yarn with hot girls and evil bad guys, with some supernatural elements as well. An attempted robbery in a Chinatown antique store brings hot inspector Angel Wolfe (Melanie Vincz) on the case. As her policeman brother Rob (Phantasm’s Bill Thornbury) was mortally wounded during the incident, this one is personal. The trail leads to the mysterious and powerful jewels, The Eyes Of Avatar and to the island fortress of Golgatha where cult leader Sin Do (the legendary Angus Scrimm) is building an army. Wolfe needs to infiltrate the island and find out why Sin Do wants the Eyes Of Avatar so badly. She brings Native America warrior Whitestar (Raven De La Croix) and ex-con Heather McClure (Angela Aames) along with her, to even up the odds. Once there, the three women must somehow stop the mystical Sin Do’s diabolical plan and get off his island fortress alive.

Obviously, this flick is not to be taken seriously for one minute and Wynorski knows this and flaunts it. He has a fun time with his 007 style plot with it’s island fortress and megalomaniacal villain and instead of a dapper British agent, throws in three gorgeous stripper types instead. He fills the island with beautiful women and evil henchman…all seemingly played by movie bad guy Robert Tessier…and gives us a delightfully over the top villain from Scrimm. The sets are 70s TV show cheesy, as are Ernest D. Farino’s SPFX and Steve Neil’s make-up, but it’s all in good fun, so who cares? The acting by our three babes is fairly wooden, but they give it their all and the delivery of the cheesy dialogue…Raven De La Croix’s constant Native American puns are hysterically awful…makes one giggle in spite of one’s self. Wynorski takes any opportunity to show some skin from some of our female players, but evens things up by having his hotties kick some bad guy ass as often as they shed their clothes. It’s all in exploitation movie fun and and even comes wrapped in a very 80s electronic score by frequent John Carpenter collaborator Alan Howarth. It’s a B-movie good time and a good example of exploitation cinema at it’s most fun.

This is an entertaining, goofy B-movie that makes no apologies for it and revels in it. It has a silly sci-fi/spy movie plot that is a flimsy excuse to get it’s three beautiful leading ladies into flimsier outfits and less. It’s got low budget action, cheesy SPFX , over-the-top villains and a horde of hardbody hotties and just simply has a lot of fun with it all. Very 80s and sadly the type of movie they don’t make anymore.

MONSTERZERO NJ EXTRA TRIVIA: Actor Blackie Dammett who stars as the evil Prager is the father of Red Hot Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Kiedis!

-MonsterZero NJ

3 butt kicking, clothes shedding hotties.

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One thought on “TOMB OF NOSTALGIA: THE LOST EMPIRE (1983)

  1. Pingback: TOMB OF NOSTALGIA: NOT OF THIS EARTH (1988) | MonsterZero NJ's Movie Madhouse

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