REVIEW: YOU’RE NEXT (2013)

YOU’RE NEXT (2013)

It amazes me how such a dull and predictable thriller such as You’re Next can arrive with such positive hype. It boggles the mind that so many positive adjectives are thrown at something that was so tedious to sit through and so unoriginal. You’re Next tells the story of a group of snooty rich people that gather for a family dinner at a remote mansion in the woods. But, all is not what it seems as soon they are besieged by a group of masked and well-armed killers and predictably, all inside the house are not what they seem either so it’s no surprise the killers are not in for an easy night. What follows is over an hour of annoying shaky cam, annoying characters, plot holes, brutal, numbing violence, plot twists seen from a mile away and a few well placed jump scares but, very little suspense or frights. First problem is the folks at the house are cardboard pretentious rich folks and not very interesting so, we have a hard time really giving a hoot as they become prey to the masked killers. The deaths on both sides are telegraphed long before they happen so, there is little suspense to go with the gore. We know ‘who’s next’ immediately by the unimaginative scene set ups that we’ve seen countless times before. Characters recuperative powers defy logic as they are gravely injured in one scene and appear fine the next. Running up the stairs with a crossbow bolt in your back? Sure! Characters also do really stupid things to set themselves up as victims on both sides and as for the ‘surprise plot twists’ they are obvious the minute the characters arrive as to who we should keep an eye on. There are a few effective scenes but, far too few to make this tolerable and it’s not inventive or clever enough to forgive that it’s really a routine home invasion flick with some predictable plot turns that are no surprise once revealed. We suspect this is what’s up from early on and are proven right by Simon Barrett’s weak script. Director Adam Wingard is too busy shaking his camera and spattering blood to do anything interesting with the simple concept nor distract us from seeing where this tedious flick is going long before it get’s there. The violence gets tiresome long before the final showdown… thought that scene does contain one of the film’s best bits. The cast too are pretty bland with Sharni Vinson showing a bit of spunk as the resourceful Erin but, even Re-Animator’s Barbara Crampton can’t give these two dimensional characters much life especially with spurts of some truly awful dialog. A character’s confession in the last act was literally making me wince. Worst yet, aside from knowing how it’s going to end, the film’s last shot ‘joke’ is also glaringly obvious, we know it’s coming and it offers no surprise or fun. A predictable and ineffective shock ending for a predictable and ineffective horror thriller. Also stars director Ti West in a brief role and TI West regulars AJ Bowen and Larry Fessenden. Very little to recommend unless you like violence for violence sake. A major disappointment.

2 blenders!